is it true that people still want a boy child as compared to a girl

[ginnie mahajan]

think will pick this up as a discussion thread based on your response

[Deepanjali]

Meow Ginnie .
Good Afternoon !

Well , wat I see around n hv heard directly from people is that things hv changed now n its ok whether child is a girl or a boy as long as he or she is healthy .

But , people who hv 2 kids , if i talk abt them then they had always preferred tht if the first one is a girl then the second one be a boy . n if the first is a boy then they r a bit relaxed n hv no worries abt the second child being a boy or a girl . This is not the thought of the couple in particular but of the first relatives pressure tht will be put upon them in case the first child is a girl . .

Parents love their kids equally in most of the cases , but ye jo vansh chalaane ka chakkar hai na , it is the nuisance builder . Wat all i m writing is on the basis of wat ive seen n heard . But ya, these couples kids r approx 8 to 10 yrs old now .
The other issue is that if in a family there are 2 brothers n one of them has a boy child then the after the marriage of the second brother , the girls parents are always pressurising their own daughter n telling them with wat not all things so that she bears a boy child so that later on property issues can be well taken care of .

Though sounding very weird , but true .

[Achyut]

The day my daughter was born (15-9- 2006), i was a happy man. My relatives were also happy but they had a dialogue, "koi baat nahi agli baar ladka hoga". These statements were like a blow to me. Y are people still fussy about baby boy?
People might say that things have changed, but i feel, nothing has changed. My college friend narrated me the story as to how her inlaws pressurized her during her pregnancy tht if boy is not born then she will face consequences. Be it lower or upper strata, the mentality has not changed.
Why a BOY?
1. Vansh ko bhadana hai,
2. He will bring dowry
3. Will take care in old age.
for first, we all have descended from Monkeys, so lineage does not matter
for second, due to scarcity of girls in future, dowry will lose its significance (example : people from Haryana going to kerela for marriage)
for third, how many boys stay with their parents after marriage.So u have 2 take of yourself.

Take my word for it, its nothing like having a daughter. Only the blessed souls are gifted with daughters.

[Pratibha]

Hi!! Being born in a famiily where father left mother for some weird reasons and re-married and just at that point I was born as second daughter My mother narrates that she was all in a devastated state!!!Took me to Railway lines for suicide when someone saved her...Today I being a daughter and having a 5 year old duaghter myself , am taking full care of my mother!!! As off now Even if she sneaks I took her to doctor...The elder sister being born after 10yrs of their Marriage was much pampered so much so that she lost her way to life!! Got depressed and marriage failed after giving her a Boy child.....So I really think that being second daughter also I proudly can say that I took full care of My sister,her son and My mother. In some cases even my father relies on me.

So it is not a Boy or a Girl it is basically the upbringing which inculcates values in you.I did all those works which an elder brother/son will do for his family. But still whenever I take my mother somewhere she still has the same groaning "What to do I had two daughters only"... and then sobbing....I cannot change her mindset but may be she might realize someday that it hardly made any difference that she never had a Boy....and that My father could have come back had it been a Boy.....Living in illusions all the time actually takes u in more darkness....

[Achyut]

I girl told me this incident, that after graduation she wanted to pursue higher education. and her father said that he has resources available only for her marriage, so cannot exhaust it for her further education.
She simply replied, "if i were your son, would u have given the same logic". Her father had no answer.
In fact he did had an answer but could not say it.
gals are treated differently in a family (*conditions apply).
Most of my distant cousin sisters were married at very early age and were cursed by their own relatives. Their very own sons(Relatives sons) are till today jobless and have separated from them after marriage due to reasons known to all of us. Only their daughter takes care of them at this age. Sons have eaten their all savings and divided the house.
Do u still need a son?

[niimisha kaul]

i with a heavy heart feel that there still are people who would do anything for a son......but oon a lighter note i guess slowly & gradually peoples perception is changing & they are understanding ...that both are equal.but we still have a long way 2 go

[sumeet arora]

ya there r many ppl lik that out there in this world

all r not normal na so they ppl r called abnormal or cycic who wants r lik that


but we should b happy time is changing and ppl r getting knowledge that doing so is not right

[Patialakimaharani]

hey Gin'z,

Sad but yes true............. My family(inlaws) in more than one way(s) have made it very clear to me that they'd welcome a boy child with open arms. There are functions n occations to celebrate when a boy child comes to a family. The grand father steps on the Golden Ladder.....so to say...... these things were unaware to me before i got married, but soon after, it seemed as though 9mths. wait wud be a waste of time .lolzzz Anyhow, on a serious note, I spoke to my inlaws saying, I'd prefer a girl child coz i've always wanted one, but whether a boy or girl, I want a healthy child. But they were adament that nahi ladka hi hona chahiye I told them then let's do one thing, to ensure I have a boy child....................LET'S GO AND ADOPT A BOY CHILD! ;) Since the sex of the child is totally not in my hand....I'm as much in susspense as u'd be....................:) Anyhow, well..........all that was history, no one even tlaks to me abt it,Since I suggested adoption!
But YES my dear friend, this still exists and I dont c this WANT OF A BOY CHILD just fading away for the next 10000yrs. Eve though boys are no longer able to (for whatever reasons) support their parents, and I';m surrounded with girls who,even after being married and having their own lives are very beauifully supporting their old parents. But let's hope atleast ppl. not coming out in the open with such orthodox views.

[TANUSHREE BANERJEE]

hi ginnie...recently my friends chachi gave birth 2 a child...b4 the birth every1 came 2 attend the functions nd congratulated the mother 2 be...but after the child was born none of the relatives came ..2 ahve a look at the child ..even the grandparents of the newly borned did not turnp up coz it was a baby girl...we asked our friend that what was this all about....nd her ans was that larka hua hota to every 1 would have had a huge celebration....but bcoz it is a girl no 1 bother 2 even call nd congratulate the parents...!!

[varunvasisht]

well i think that aaj kal ke parents are very intelligent ones. they are much aware of their standard of living. it doesnt makes any difference to them if their ward is a girl or boy. it is always said that 'girls are very cloder to there fathers'. i as a boy, would definately want a girl child but it doesnt mean that if i had a boy child i will be very unhappy.

[Vijaya]

Dear Ginnie,

Before we got married, I wrote a long letter to my wife (but never said I love you) and discussed everything. Through that letter we decided that we will have only one issue. The discussion of gender never came up. When we got married then obviously, my wife (Neelima) became pregnant (of course). I lost my job (infact I quit it) came back to Delhi and picked up threads here. The first time that the gender Question came up was when my Bua came and asked me "Vijai ladka ya ladki". I was dumbfounded. I eyed Neelima and she said "Buaji kya farak padta hai". Then the whole rigmarole of Boys being the starters of the dynasty etc etc and girls being the weaker sex started.

I was bugged up. I told my Bua "Waqt badal raha hai, ladka ho ya ladki no difference. And you as a lady a ladki asking this question? If all were boys what would happen to this world"

Till the next eight months when my child was born I never brought up the topic of the gender of my child to be born. Even when the sonography was to be done, I forbade the doctor to reveal the Gender.

Both me and wife wanted a daughter. She wanted a daughter because in her family she was the only daughter in brothers and cousins of approx 11 and I wanted a daughter because I adore Girl child.

Our Child was born and he is a tall strapping boy and we are all very happy

Vijai Kapoor

[Pritam Sinha]

HI to all,

A profound yes if you ask me from where I come from i.e. (Biharsharif & Patna), Bihar. So much so that I have seen people bearing baby after baby until it is a BOY. My own parents tried 4 times after me until my youngest brother was born after a gap of 13 years to me, in between I had three wonderful sisters but my parents were never satisfied.

But I must say all these changing main occupations of people and some inflation related issues too and general lifestyles, which are now more like cities than agriculture centric, are making people realize that they can't sustain more babies like before with their meagre incomes. And hence, happily they are cutting down on their number of babies. But still they would hope and pray that it is a boy somehow or the other (even if it means some abortions who cares, female foeticide stems from this craving for a boy, I strongly feel).

I Delhi where I am working intermittently since 1995, I see no such craving as witnessed since childhood. To my view, the high cost of living is a boon here in this regard. May be when people in Bihar wil have to dole out huge sums of money for everything, they will realise that keeping trying for a boy is ultra costly affair. Then may be their mentality will change towards future Meow Women.

Thanks for a nice discussion topic. May be start a new one on Female Foeticide which is rampant in other parts of the country. Consider Ms Ginnie Mahajan.

[alka]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ppl still want and they will alwaz want boys over girls
and trust me ginnie its the women of the house who are more depressed over the birth of a girl child in the family
i am a doctor and yr mom also being a doc wud be telling you the same tht things havnt changed
when my second daughter was born one of my sasuma's frnd had come for SAGUN and when she was giving me tht gr8 shagun of 500 rs she asked me tht you r a doctor didnt u know tht she was a girl( 10 yrs back...sex determination wasnt a big deal)
i told her i knew she was a girl...a healthy girl
she asked me.............then why didnt you.........?
imagine giving me tht shagun and asking me why i didnt abort my child just because she was a girl?
i told her giving her the money back...i cudnt kill her just because she was a girl like me and you aunty

so things havnt changed dear even in the socalled educated society and high class ppl also
and trust me to hav a male child is more of an obsession in the very rich class of the society