Neil's Page

"Hey everybody!" Naie called out. "It's Right Said Fred."
"Don't try buttering me up, Naie," I warned. "It's not going to work."
"What's not going to work?" she demanded.
"You can't cover up your gross incompetence with a 'Hey everybody' cheer."
"Gross incompetence?"
"That's right. Just look at my head. Go ahead, take a real close look."
"Why, it's a family of sparrows. What a lovely nest," she grinned.
"No, over here."
"My, my. If it isn't a bald spot," she giggled. "Should I give it a shine?"… Continue

You're walking down the street somewhere, or shopping at a mall, or sitting at a restaurant or bar, and then you see her. That beautiful woman you've had your eye on since who knows when. You feel your heart racing, your pulse pick up, your eyes beginning to widen. You approach her and attempt to say something witty, but you become tongue-tied. Eventually, you find the words to say and gush over her appearance, telling her how beautiful she is, how you would like to get to know her, etc. She giv… Continue

We men are so predictable. Our desires are simple: to be unquestionably powerful, acquire the world’s most beautiful women, and drive the swankiest of cars. This is a not-so-secret male fantasy that has fuelled the unparalleled James Bond franchise since its inception. In fact, Bond is to men what Harry Potter is to kids. Both recreate daydreams either about alpha males with guns or boy wizards with magic wands. But if human fantasies translated into literary and cinematic figures can become suc… Continue